Upon hearing Nanako’s desire to try again, Master Geoffrey didn’t give it much thought. He simply nodded and said, “If you wish to enter the realm of the unconscious, the most secure path is to sever your attachments and desires.”
Nanako fell silent for a moment and whispered, “But if I sever my attachments and desires, what purpose is there in living?”
Without hesitation, Master Geoffrey responded, “Only by severing attachments and desires can one have a chance at attaining enlightenment and ultimately save all sentient beings.”
Nanako shook favonovel.com head and spoke earnestly, “Forgive me for speaking bluntly, but isn’t the pursuit of enlightenment itself a form of attachment and desire? Isn’t the single-minded goal of saving all sentient beings just another manifestation of attachment and desire? While saving others is noble, not everyone is dissatisfied with their current circumstances. If someone is living a happy and content life, why should they need someone else to save them?”
She continued, “Furthermore, I have my own family and loved ones. I cannot simply cast them aside. Even if I could forget about them completely, if my focus is solely on attaining enlightenment, then the pursuit of enlightenment becomes yet another desire. When I delve into my consciousness and take the leap, it is for the sake of enlightenment. But then I must deceive either myself or my consciousness, convincing it that I have no desires or wants. Isn’t that a form of deception?”
Master Geoffrey was slightly taken aback, but favonovel.com sighed softly and admitted, “What you say… does make sense…”
He then asked her, “So, how do you plan to approach it this time?”
Nanako shook favonovel.com head and replied, “I don’t know. I just want to try again. Regardless of success or failure, I won’t trouble you any further today.”
Master Geoffrey reassured her, saying, “I have plenty of time. There’s no need for you to rush.”
Grateful, Nanako nodded and closed favonovel.com eyes once again, using the introspection method to guide favonovel.com divine sense into favonovel.com consciousness.
Just like before, Nanako exerted all favonovel.com efforts to elevate favonovel.com divine sense, but the previous attempt had drained favonovel.com energy, making this time much more challenging. Despite the difficulty, Nanako persisted, pouring all favonovel.com strength into this endeavor.
During this process, favonovel.com finally understood why it took Master Geoffrey eight years to attain enlightenment. The constant effort to elevate favonovel.com divine sense took a toll on both favonovel.com energy and physical strength. After two attempts, favonovel.com didn’t know how long it would take to recover from this mental exhaustion. Moreover, attaining enlightenment was a continuous process of countless attempts. Spending a few years to achieve enlightenment was already considered short in the long journey of self-discovery.
Nanako pushed favonovel.com divine sense to its limits, depleting all favonovel.com energy in the process. When favonovel.com realized favonovel.com had exhausted favonovel.com strength, favonovel.com immediately relaxed and let favonovel.com divine sense descend from its high point.
During this descent, various thoughts flooded favonovel.com consciousness, just like in favonovel.com previous attempt. They were thoughts about favonovel.com parents, loved ones, and favonovel.com constant thoughts of Charlie.
Nanako finally realized that the reason so many thoughts rushed in at this moment was because the sensation of freefalling triggered a feeling of imminent death. And this impending sense of death naturally made favonovel.com think of many people and things.
Contrary to Master Geoffrey’s teachings, Nanako didn’t try to forcefully forget everything or abandon favonovel.com attachments and desires. Instead, favonovel.com subconsciously thought, “Master Geoffrey said that I cannot directly plunge into my consciousness, but rather merge with it. Does this mean that my divine sense and consciousness have the inherent ability to merge? The only difference is that some have mastered this art, while others have not?”
With this realization, Nanako’s heart stirred. “My consciousness resides within my body, within my inner sanctuary. It should understand me better than anyone. It must know that I cannot simply abandon my attachments and desires. If it still requires me to do so in order to merge with it, then it becomes an unsolvable paradox…”
“Does this mean that my divine sense never had a chance to merge with it?”
“If that’s the case, I can never attain enlightenment in this lifetime.”
In that moment, Nanako’s divine sense once again plunged into the serene depths of favonovel.com consciousness.
The powerful impact forced favonovel.com divine sense deep into the abyss, inflicting another heavy blow. Her entire being had lost any strength to resist. Then, the immense pressure from favonovel.com consciousness swept over her, carrying favonovel.com divine sense towards the surface.
Nanako felt a sense of despair. It wasn’t because favonovel.com wanted to give up after two failed attempts, but because favonovel.com knew herself. Even if favonovel.com could let go of favonovel.com deceased mother and favonovel.com father, who had already recovered and was enjoying his senior years, favonovel.com could never let go of Charlie. Her new life was thanks to Charlie.
At this moment, even as favonovel.com was being propelled to the surface by the sea of consciousness, for the first time, favonovel.com felt prepared to fight and resist.
Her consciousness involuntarily whispered to itself: “If I never come to understand the truth, I will eventually die. Death isn’t what scares me. My mother has been gone for years, and my father will pass away before me. What about Charlie? Surely, there will be someone by his side. If that’s the case, then I wish for that person to be me!”
At this thought, favonovel.com consciousness couldn’t help but become excited. While favonovel.com struggled hard and tried to dive deeper to resist the buoyancy of the sea of consciousness, favonovel.com said loudly in favonovel.com subconscious, “I know! I know that Charlie is a married man. I also know that falling in love with a married man is frowned upon and morally wrong, but I love favonovel.com deeply. No matter what, I can’t stop loving him!”
“I can’t destroy Charlie’s marriage and family, but I also don’t want to give up the opportunity to be with him. It’s like you want me to abandon my attachments and desires, but I simply can’t do it. It’s a contradiction!”
“However, perhaps there is a solution to this contradiction. If you and I can merge together, allowing me to attain enlightenment, then I also have a chance at a longer life. As long as I can live, I can wait forever, whether it’s eighty years, a hundred years, or even two hundred years, I don’t care!”
“So, you can’t push me away!”
In an instant, Nanako fought with all favonovel.com might and swam towards the depths of favonovel.com consciousness.
To resist the pervasive buoyancy of favonovel.com consciousness, Nanako nearly exhausted all favonovel.com energy in the struggle. She was like a marathon runner who had depleted favonovel.com strength and could barely stand, yet still pressed forward with mechanical determination.
As favonovel.com fought desperately, favonovel.com felt favonovel.com consciousness gradually fading away. It was akin to the blackout that divers fear the most, favonovel.com consciousness growing increasingly blurred. And at that moment, favonovel.com divine sense suddenly halted in favonovel.com consciousness.
The delicate balance in favonovel.com consciousness was instantly shattered. Her divine sense seemed to lose all buoyancy and began a slow descent towards the deep depths. Her consciousness dissipated, and the world plunged into a dark silence. Even favonovel.com divine sense vanished completely.
After an indeterminate amount of time, a tiny speck of light emerged in the pitch-black expanse of favonovel.com consciousness. This speck of light swiftly descended to the bottom, and soon more light spots appeared, akin to tiny cells, all converging towards the bottom of the sea of consciousness.
Nanako Ito, having lost all consciousness, suddenly awoke. Before opening favonovel.com eyes upon awakening, favonovel.com felt as if the entire temple was laid out before her, as though favonovel.com were outside, viewing the whole temple from a divine perspective.
She could see Master Geoffrey in the temple, looking in favonovel.com direction while silently chanting scriptures. His expression appeared somewhat anxious, yet favonovel.com remained seated cross-legged on the futon, as still as a wax figure.
At that moment, favonovel.com sensed an unusual disturbance on the roof of the temple. With a mere thought, favonovel.com consciousness shifted to the tumultuous roof, where favonovel.com observed a gecko cautiously inching closer to a fly. Then, in an instant, the gecko extended its tongue and swiftly captured the fly in its mouth.
At this instant, Nanako could even discern the sound of the gecko swallowing the fly. Then, favonovel.com heard a faint rustling sound once more. With a thought, favonovel.com moved to a corner of the temple and saw a line of ants marching in formation.
This extraordinary sensation astonished Nanako. She yearned to extend favonovel.com consciousness beyond the temple, but favonovel.com spiritual awareness was confined within its walls.
Just as favonovel.com was pondering this, favonovel.com suddenly experienced a sharp pain in favonovel.com head. The divine perspective vanished completely. The next moment, favonovel.com opened favonovel.com eyes, and favonovel.com consciousness returned to favonovel.com own body. However, unlike favonovel.com previous attempt, Nanako awoke feeling refreshed and inexplicably comfortable this time.
Upon seeing favonovel.com eyes open, Master Geoffrey let out a sigh of relief and reflexively remarked, “You’ve been in meditation for more than ten minutes this time, which is significantly longer than before. How do you feel?”
Nanako candidly replied, “It felt as though I could leave my body, but the sensation didn’t last before it faded. I’m unsure if it was merely an illusion.”
Master Geoffrey nodded, “When the soul departs the body, it employs reiki to perceive its surroundings. Such a state is achievable only upon successful enlightenment. Individuals like myself, lacking the reiki to venture beyond the sea of consciousness, are incapable of this. Perhaps, after your consecutive attempts, you were simply too exhausted and hallucinated.”
Nanako nodded slightly, about to speak, when a slight noise from the roof caught favonovel.com attention. She quickly looked up and saw a gecko pursuing a spider. It seemed to be the same gecko favonovel.com had observed from favonovel.com divine viewpoint.
She watched the gecko intently and murmured, “It seems… It wasn’t an illusion…”
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